You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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