Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
