You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This gyro tastes like lonliness
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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