Are we in a gay sports bar?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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