Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
