Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
