Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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