dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize