I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
