Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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