Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
