who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
