i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
