Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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