yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
