New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am naked and annoyed.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
