Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
