I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
