He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
