I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
