Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
