You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
