you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
