My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
