The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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