Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
