A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to cum in my sink.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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