That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
