"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He has the fingertips of a God
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