as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
