I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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