Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize