ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
