i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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