I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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