Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
