she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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