it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize