wakey wakey hands off snakey
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize