..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
