high people should be assigned attendants
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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