Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
