Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
