i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
