nut hugger
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
