saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
