No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize