the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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