Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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