Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
