Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she peed on how many people?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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