woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
