Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
