sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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