You're completely useless in the revolution.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
