How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Welp...herpes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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