she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
