just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
