the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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