Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize